Leane This post isn’t just for mums – it’s for anyone who has a baby, toddler, or older child who hasn’t yet got the memo that sleep is the most amazing thing ever.
It’s no secret that Babybel’s sleep has been challenging to say the least.If you’ve been following us on YouTube or Instagram, you’ll know I talk a lot about Babybel’s sleep, or lack of it. I wanted to share how we’ve made it to beyond a year without going insane. I averaged around 4-5 hours of sleep a night for the first year, and even now don’t get a full, unbroken night’s sleep, so I’ve got a few tips to share with you.
Tip 1:
Accepting that babies are not designed to sleep through the night and toddlers often need help to get to sleep, and will often need you in the night. You can’t change that; as adults if we wake up in the night we can fix whatever the problem is, whether that’s too hot, too cold, needing a drink, needing the toilet, had a nightmare, but babies and toddlers can’t so they rely on us. I spent ages looking for ways to fix Babybel’s night wakes but thanks to some amazing Instagram accounts like Hey Sleepy Baby, Lilah by Sleep, Sarah Ockwell Smith, & Little Nest Sleep, I learned that this is completely normal. Our society is so fixated on getting babies to sleep through on their own that we’ve forgotten that it’s completely normal for them to need us 24 hours a day.
Tip 2:
Sleep when baby sleeps. Some people say they can’t but your life becomes a series of naps, especially in the early days, and adapting to this is sometimes the only way you’ll even come close to getting the sleep you need. Newborns sleep loads, around 16 hours out of 24 so I actually found that stage easier. During some of Babybel’s naps I would get housework done, express breast milk, sort out bottles etc, but for some of her naps I would also nap. Obviously if you’ve got one that needs constant motion it becomes more difficult, but that’s where I found co-sleeping following the Safe Sleep 7 rules a lifesaver.
Tip 3:
Prioritise sleep. Housework can wait. We prioritise what needs to be done. Clean clothes, clean dishes, clean bathroom and kitchen, vacuumed floor, fresh bedding are the essentials for us; anything else is just as and when. If you can afford a cleaner, even better. A cleaner coming in for an hour a week can get more done than I can in an entire week with an energetic toddler!
Tip 4:
Optimise your sleep space. I think this one is so overlooked and makes such a huge difference. I like my sleep space to be clean, uncluttered, and cool (Babies will tell you when they’re cold). Fresh bedding as often as I can, no mess staring at me while I’m feeding Babybel, and most importantly limiting electronics! I’ve found that staying off of my phone for an hour or so before bed, and not looking at it at all during the night wakes means that I can get to sleep a lot easier. It’s absolutely soul destroying when you’re physically and mentally exhausted, but you can’t get to sleep, even though your baby is gently snoring away next to you.
Tip 5:
Get help. If you’re breastfeeding, your partner can do nappy changes, burp the baby, snuggle them to sleep. If formula feeding, they can share the making up of the feeds and the actual feeding. Share the load of chores; even if your partner is working they need to do their share.After all, you both live there and contribute to the mess. But make sure you tell them as no one is a mind reader and they might not even realise how much you’re struggling. I’ve been guilty of not saying anything during a night when I’ve been awake for hours and letting the resentment build up.
If you can, get family to help. And not just by holding the baby, but actual useful help like washing up, hanging your washing up, vacuuming the stairs. If they do want to spend some time with the baby, ask them to take the baby out for a walk so you can have a peaceful bath or catch a nap. We don’t have any family near to help so it has just been me and John, but I think having some outside help would have made so much difference.
Tip 6:
Work out a rota / shift pattern. John goes to sleep early and wakes early; I do not. So if we’re going though a particularly rough patch with sleep, John will go to bed even earlier, and then take over from me around 5am so that I can get a few hours of unbroken sleep in before he goes to work.
Tip 6: There seems to be a myth that you can’t have coffee if you’re breastfeeding. You can, the current recommendation is 200mg which is around 3 or 4 instant coffees. Use them if you need them.
Tip 7:
Getting out for a walk in the fresh air or doing some form of exercise is essential. It’s so hard when you’re tired but it makes a huge difference. Our bodies are made to move, and believe it or not, exercise actually helps you feel more awake. It also gets those endorphins flowing, which relieve pain and help you generally feel better. And we all know that it’s easier to deal with the crap that life throws at you when you’re feeling happy.
It is hard; I can count on one hand the amount of times that Babybel has slept through the night, but you can get through it. Let me know what you do to get as much sleep as you possibly can, I’d love to hear how others get through this stage.
