Leane They say that when the child is born, the mother is also born. It may sound like a load of nonsense, but you do evolve into a better, albeit more tired, version of yourself. Although I was expecting to have to learn the practical sides to being a mum, I wasn’t expecting the amount of self reflection and self growth that I’ve been through, and continue to experience.
You learn so much about yourself
I thought I was selfish, and this was one of the main reasons why I waited so long to have children. I really enjoy being able to do my own thing and spend time on my own, and didn’t think that I would be able to change that for a baby. I’ve probably had about 24 hours in total to myself in the past 17 months, and the majority of the time, Babybel’s needs come before mine. Apart from my morning coffee; she’s normally had a feed around 4am so I don’t feel bad about making her wait 5 minutes while I drink my coffee at 6.30am! I’m also really impatient and didn’t know how that would work with having a baby. I’ve actually learned that I have a lot of patience with Babybel, although now she’s a toddler she definitely tests it a lot more! I was sure that I had absolutely no maternal instinct, but it turns out I was very wrong about that. The urge to look after my baby, and respond to her every need is almost overpowering at times. You also develop ninja-like reflexes when they put themselves in situations that could lead to them falling – the videos you see of parents hooking out a leg to catch a baby falling off the sofa are so relatable.
The love that you feel can’t be described
Many people have said this but it so true. But one thing that’s not talked about enough is how it might not be instant. Babybel’s birth was extremely traumatic and when she was finally briefly placed on my chest after lots of complications, I was so numb that I barely even felt relief. We then had a six day stay in hospital, just the two of us in a tiny room, and I felt like I was just on autopilot. I can’t pinpoint exactly when I started to feel that love, but it seems to grow every day.
I quite often catch myself looking at her and just thinking she is the most precious thing.
Being a mum is a full time job
It will totally take over your life, especially in those early days. From nappy changes, to naps, to feeding, and everything else, your baby needs your full attention. As they get older, it seems like they need you a little bit less every day, but it in the beginning it’s very easy for it. to become all consuming. Feeding is hard work, whether you’re breastfeeding, formula feeding, expressing, or a combination of any of those. Breastfeeding itself is a full time job; I read somewhere that a breastfeeding mum spends 1800 hours boobing in the first year. A full time job with four weeks holiday is around 1900 hours per year!
You thought you were tired before you had a baby?
My goodness, the tiredness that comes from giving birth, and then being up with a newborn cannot be described. I quite often joke that sleep deprivation could not be used as an effective form of torture against me, as nothing can compare to being up every 2-3 hours to feed and burp a baby, and then express breastmilk! I was sleeping in 60-90 minute chunks for weeks.My biggest piece of advice to get through this is to sleep when baby sleeps. Other things can probably wait, or someone else can do them. Sleep is the most important thing here.
Some things that were important before suddenly seem less important
I used to be really into keeping fit, weightlifting, having the ideal body. I can’t do even half as much as I used to because of the physical complications caused by labour interventions, but even if I could, I don’t think I’d care so much about being a perfect size 10.
My body’s been through a hell of a lot and how it looks is just not as important any more. I used to love going out to the pub, to clubs, out for meals, but again, it’s just not as important now. I’ve had lots of opportunities to do these things in the past, and I’m sure I will again once Babybel needs me a bit less. The thought of going out clubbing fills me with horror at the moment!
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